HomePortalGalleryFAQSearchMemberlistUsergroupsRegisterLog in

Share | 

 It started with the pain, the unremitting pain.

Go down 
Loving the feeling
Loving the feeling

Female Gemini Pig
Age : 22
Posts : 1219
Location : Rainsville :D
Join date : 2009-07-19

Character sheet
Affinities :

PostSubject: It started with the pain, the unremitting pain.   Sun Jul 19, 2009 10:15 am

This is a one shot I wrote for some English courseowrk. I hope you like it...It's not been marked yet....but I'm anxious to hear feed back so if you guys could comment that would be great.

It all goes black.

Fire shoots through my body, sharp jolts of pain, resonating from my wrists, from my brow, from my side and legs.

It all goes black.

My eyes burst open, waking from unconsciousness and I notice that blood slowly caresses my cheeks, leaving a sticky residue behind. I can smell the rust and the salt; in effect I can smell the blood. I can smell the pain. I can smell the fear. I can smell the petrol and the smoke; in effect I can smell the fire. I can smell the burning flesh. I can smell the sweat. I can smell the desperation. I can smell the desolation.

I can feel it residing beneath my skin, boiling out of me. I can feel it coming from those dying souls around me. I can feel it in the clouded air I suffer to inhale. The grit that rises in the smoke now adheres to the sides of my throat. Scratching the moist flesh that clings loosely to the bone structure.

I let go and close my eyes.

It all goes black.

I slowly blink my eyes open, adjusting to the smoky light that stings my eyes, that burns through my sight.

I feel so cold. I shiver as I burn. The flames lick at my hands and my toes and I cry desperately for a blanket, something to stop the ice that resides within my veins. I sit here, trapped. My face against the glass, the seatbelt cutting circulation from my legs. My heart is so cold; my insides freeze while my skin burns.

I let go and close my eyes.

It all goes black.

All except one image, a bright little face fills my mind. His lopsided grin, russet hair, bright blue eyes.

“Adam” I let out a small gasp. My voice raspy and unrecognisable.

I search in the darkness, but find nothing. I let out a stifled scream as I try to move my arm, the one that isn’t trapped beneath by body. I hold back the urge to cry for help, knowing that if my baby is alive this will only distress him. I lift my arm, my eyes stinging with tears. The salty liquid tracing marks down my face. I reach out into that which I cannot see. The smoke and tears blinding me. My hand moves around me, searching to my left, trying desperately to find him. And finally I come across something, a hand resting on the dashboard in front of me. I grab his hand and pull it slowly towards me, resting our hands on my lap. My head lolls back on the head rest, my neck giving way from the tension that was holding it upright. I feel a slow pulse through his wrist, but it’s too slow, this isn’t right. He’s dying besides me and there is nothing I can do to help.

“Adam, Adam.” I whisper, trying to wake him, trying to make him hold on, but he can’t hear me and slowly his grip around my hand slackens. Silent tears escape my eyes and I hold his hand up to my face. My boy, my sweet little angel, why did this have to happen? His journey through this world, far too short. I hold his hand to my face and kiss his palm.

“Oh my Baby” I whisper. My little boy. I grip his limp hand tightly, refusing to let go and then I let unconsciousness over whelm me.

The sun shines through the window, and my little Angel laughs. I turn to him and smile. His sweet little face, I meet his gaze and grin before turning my eyes quickly back to the road ahead. I take the next junction, towards our new home, our escape from our last life. I was given a chance to start over and I took it, I grasped it with both hands and this is where it has led us. A little farm house outside of Devon was promised to us. Half the journey down, only another 2 hours sat in the car. I promise myself. Only 2 more and then that’s it, then we can be happy. I look back to my son, three years old and he is beautiful. His russet brown hair swinging in front of his remarkably blue eyes. They catch the light and explode, little burst of green dance around the sea of blue, and even tinier speckles of slate float upon the waves.

I hear the scream before I see anything, the tiny little scream that escapes his mouth as we fly forward in our seats. The seatbelt catching me I bounce back into the chair, my head flinging round and catching the window.

It all goes black.

It all goes black.

It all goes black.

It all goes black.

These words, now the only ones relevant to me.

I don’t even try to awake, I just sit here, drifting, floating around. The adrenalin has left my system now. I just sit here and drift.

It all goes black.

My eyes, they are open, I know this for sure. If one thing is certain in my life anymore then it is that, it is the one thing I hold onto. My eyes are open and yet I can’t see a damned thing, is this due to the rising smoke, has it completely blocked out my vision, or am I blind? Either way it does not matter, for I know that if I close my eyes they will never again open. That as long as I can hold onto that then I can hold onto life. But my eye lids are so heavy, and I am blind.

My hand slips from his. I can’t hold it any longer; my grip is no more under my control. I’ve let go and my heart breaks. I swear it, it truly does break into a thousand tiny pieces, pieces so small that they could pass through the eye of a needle, that is how it feels, and that is how it is.

My eyes wilt and I don’t care, I let go. I close my eyes and it all goes black.

It all stays black.

Comments .com link

Comments .niceboard.org link
Back to top Go down
View user profile
It started with the pain, the unremitting pain.
Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
» All that's left is pain.(Males wanted feas may come)(please post)
» Rite of Pain and Purity
» Itami-Itami no mi (Pain-Pain Fruit)
» Escort Service (Pain)
» Kidnapped! {X started}

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
House of Night Forum :: Literature Club :: Stories :: Finished Stories-
Jump to: