Chapter One.
If you knew how I felt; why would you treat me this way? .. Because you don't know what I'm like as a person. I've tryed so hard to fit in with everyone; but no. You all pushed me aside left me on my own. Now that I'm more mature, I find myself fitting in slightly; yes I have a small amount of friends, but thats not all that I would wish to have. My birthday and chrismas wishes are always the same thing. For someone to fall in love with me for who I am and not just to rape me or the way I look. To be honest, I think I'm not really that important in life. I want so much out of life, but I know one thing. I have to work for it. As a young child, I never really had the chance to live my childhood as I was constantly in hospital. I might aswell life it now, but I get labled things like "Retard" when I'm not.
If you ever find me, I'm always the one that is never looking for trouble. I always want to stay out of it, but my friends always try putting me in hot water, if you know what I mean. if you don't, it basically means trouble.
They always try to get me to talk to my crush in school, which I refuse to do all the time - mearly because I'm scared that I'll end up saying the wrong thing and muck it up completely. I never actually wanted anything to do with this, but if I fancy someone and don't bother talking to them, I know that it'll just begin to grow worse as I get older.
Now I know I can be immature at most points in my life, but the one time when I don't want to be, I just am. I'm not sure why I'm constantly childish when I don't want to be. Maybe it has something to do with my past..
I'm not even close friends with the dude I fancy, I just happen to like him in that way. I mean, I never hang around with him. All I know about him is; He's dead cute, he does weed, I'm older than him and he knows I fancy him.
