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 Erinacchi's poems/songs/song translations

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*~Dreamer~*
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PostSubject: Re: Erinacchi's poems/songs/song translations   Wed Jun 29, 2011 11:19 am

Sweet song Very Happy I can translate the chinese for you Very Happy it's my mother tongue.
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Erinacchi
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PostSubject: Re: Erinacchi's poems/songs/song translations   Wed Jun 29, 2011 4:24 pm

Oh, thanks! If you'd be so kind. Here are the lyrics.
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PostSubject: Re: Erinacchi's poems/songs/song translations   Thu Jun 30, 2011 6:08 am

If rain ceased to exist,
we wouldn't have a reason to love.
Hardwork is our purpose/ motive/ drive (it can be interpreted either way. i think they all fit),
let future be our precious assets. (there are many ways to interpret this line)

If land ceased to exist,
it wouldn't be our beloved Earth (动人美丽 means very beautiful, exalting, but it seems a little awkward to use in this context.)
Let us all sing merrily,
the song of my love.
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Erinacchi
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PostSubject: Re: Erinacchi's poems/songs/song translations   Fri Jul 01, 2011 9:35 am

Thank you so much! I really appreciate it^^

Okey, here's a new original poem of mine.

In the gentle summer breeze
It's night
There are no clouds in the sky
I think of you
My heart feel so strange
It hurts
Never felt like this before
I love you

I look at the sea from the rocks
I see your face
My heart skips a beat when
I feel them
Your hands on my shoulders
Then on my waist
It feels so good when you
Touch me
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PostSubject: Re: Erinacchi's poems/songs/song translations   Thu Jul 07, 2011 9:20 am

I love this poem. very unique Very Happy
I liked how there are SO many ways to read them
Alternate lines can make up a poem, every odd line can make one, so does the even, although the even is a little less coherent.

Two suggestions though, maybe you could shift 'when you' from the second last line to the last line, with 'touch me', so that it will read like this 'it feels so good/ when you touch me'. and for this two lines, ' I feel them'/ your hands on my shoulders, maybe change 'them' to 'that', and then ýour hands on my shoulders' to 'your hands are on my shoulders' so that it can beautify the odd-line poems.

Extract odd lines:
In the gentle summer breeze
there are no clouds in the sky
my heart feels so strange (should be a 'feels' and not 'feel'. tense)
never felt like this before

I look at the see from the rocks
my heart skips a beat when
your hands are on my shoulders (revised line)
It feels so good (revised line)


Awesome much? I love this poem.
LIKE!

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PostSubject: Re: Erinacchi's poems/songs/song translations   Thu Jul 07, 2011 9:22 am

the first stanza, the even lines make a beautiful quote:
'It's night, I think of you. It hurts, I love you.' sweet!
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Erinacchi
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PostSubject: Re: Erinacchi's poems/songs/song translations   Fri Aug 05, 2011 2:20 pm

Thank you so much, Ger^^

Remember my song translation of "Tomo"? Well, here goes my cover of the song: Click me!
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PostSubject: Re: Erinacchi's poems/songs/song translations   Mon Aug 08, 2011 9:30 am

Sounds nice (:
For me, I wish i can dance the way my idols can. they can sing and dance synchronized. ownt. i aspire to be able to do that. but first, i must cross the stage of singing and playing an instrument tgt ><
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Erinacchi
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PostSubject: Re: Erinacchi's poems/songs/song translations   Mon Sep 05, 2011 4:44 am

Sorry for a long break.

Going on with another song translation, this time of Berryz Koubou's Aa, Yo ga Akeru. Hope you like it.

Aa, the Dawn is Breaking

A courageous girl’s love song
A love song I sing on a moonlit night

These innocent tears, may it reach them
May it reach him, reach him

I won’t show my tears
I won’t make you worry
My love
Grows stronger each day
My love will float
Down to you one day
Let me give one sigh
Aa, I think dawn is breaking

A precious, precious love song
The first ever love song I sing

This distant promise, may it reach it
May it reach him, reach him

If you look into my heart
You won’t see anything but you
I hope
A goddess will smile at me
If this love grows
Will it hurt you?
Another tear has poured down my cheek
Aa, I think dawn is breaking

If this love grows
Will it hurt you?
My love will float
Down to you one day
Let me give one sigh
Aa, I think dawn is breaking
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PostSubject: Re: Erinacchi's poems/songs/song translations   Sun Oct 09, 2011 5:33 am

Sweet~
but i anticipate your writes (: those which are uniquely yours Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: Erinacchi's poems/songs/song translations   Wed Dec 14, 2011 11:44 am

please update! (:
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PostSubject: Re: Erinacchi's poems/songs/song translations   Sun Jan 08, 2012 10:54 pm

Hey, do join my poetry contest! I hope you can Very Happy
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Erinacchi
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PostSubject: Re: Erinacchi's poems/songs/song translations   Mon Jan 09, 2012 5:40 am

Will do if I come up with something that doesn't sound idiotic. Lately my poetry has just sucked~
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PostSubject: Re: Erinacchi's poems/songs/song translations   Mon Jan 09, 2012 10:00 am

Okay. Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: Erinacchi's poems/songs/song translations   Mon Dec 10, 2012 1:45 pm

High Five
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