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 A poem about Stevie Rae

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Melly Salvatore
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Female Virgo Rat
Age : 21
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Location : At home & imaginary world
Join date : 2012-03-11

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Name: Melina
Age: 15 years
Affinities : Dreams of the future, water and hypnosing

PostSubject: A poem about Stevie Rae   Sun Mar 11, 2012 2:06 pm

Once so innocent and sweet
Lived her life with every heartbeat
Suddenly lost her way
The world seemed cold and grey
But she never lost her soul
The thing Neferet could never stole
She found her strength and her destiny
she grew up to something, she though she could never be
Now an high priestess full of honor and power
Now she´s an legend
Of the red flower


I don´t know if it is good, it was my first poem here xD
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FallenInLove
Trying to break up a fight
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Join date : 2011-11-29

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Name: Michelle Wherry (before marking: Allison Jackson)
Age: 15
Affinities : Air, Fire, Water, Earth, Soul, and can feel when people close to her are injured

PostSubject: Re: A poem about Stevie Rae   Sun Mar 11, 2012 2:28 pm

okay, its good but it got confusing at the end, if the next word starts with a vowel (a,e,i,o,u) then you say "an" and if it is a consant you just say "a". Also in Line 8 you should say "thought" instead of "though" it would make more sense.

I don't mean to change your work or anything, because it is amazing, I am just letting you know from a poets point of veiw (and someone whom wants to major in english [hopefully]) that you should fix the things above Smile
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Melly Salvatore
Freaking out
Freaking out
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Female Virgo Rat
Age : 21
Posts : 51
Location : At home & imaginary world
Join date : 2012-03-11

Character sheet
Name: Melina
Age: 15 years
Affinities : Dreams of the future, water and hypnosing

PostSubject: Re: A poem about Stevie Rae   Tue Mar 13, 2012 11:27 am

[quote]okay, its good but it got confusing at the end, if the next word starts with a vowel (a,e,i,o,u) then you say "an" and if it is a consant you just say "a". Also in Line 8 you should say "thought" instead of "though" it would make more sense.

yes i know that my spelling is not that good. english is not my first languege
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chey2012
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Age : 24
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Location : Maryland
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PostSubject: Re: A poem about Stevie Rae   Mon Dec 10, 2012 1:41 pm

i think she is a cool charicter
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